If you’re thinking about getting a divorce, but you’re afraid you won’t be able to rebuild your life afterward, you aren’t alone. It’s quite common for people who are considering divorce to worry that life might be harder if they end up going through with it.
However, while you should absolutely think hard before taking that step, you also can’t allow your fear to prevent you from getting out of a situation that just isn’t working and may even be harmful. Below we’re going to share a list of tips meant to show you that it is possible to move forward with the right approach. Here’s how:
Let Your Feelings Out
Intense feelings along a wide spectrum are totally normal. In fact, divorce can even cause conflicting emotions. Don’t stuff your feelings down and try to ignore them. Denial will keep you stuck. Releasing them will help you to move on.
Allow Grief to Take Its Course
Divorce is a series of losses. You’ll grieve the lost hopes and dreams, as well as the loss of companionship. Grief is a long, difficult process. There’s no sugarcoating that.
You have to give yourself time to work through your sad feelings, either by talking or journaling. You’ll reach the acceptance stage in due time.
Reach Out for Help
It’s important to reach out to friends, family, and/or a counselor to process your grief. Their perspectives will provide the affirmation and encouragement you need. This is especially important if you have children. You will need a network of support, and your children will need it too.
Use Your Pain for Good
Pain after divorce can be an excellent teaching tool. You can learn about your weaknesses so that you can become stronger and more mature. You can also use your pain to become more compassionate to others who have been divorced, enabling you to help someone else in the future.
Let Go of the Past
It’s unproductive and harmful to yourself to keep hoping that a dead relationship will revive. Work through your pain and let the past go. If you are a person of faith, you can use it to gain strength so you can leave the past behind.
Forgiveness doesn’t happen all at once. You’ll need to offer it over and over to your ex-spouse – and maybe to yourself as well. Withholding forgiveness can make you bitter. Offer it as a gift to yourself and you’ll experience greater peace of mind.
Take Care of Yourself
You need to prioritize yourself during your healing process. It’s wise to treat yourself as if you were recovering from surgery. Quality rest, good nutrition, and plenty of downtime will help you heal. Exercise can powerfully lift your mood and boost your self-image. Engage in calming activities every day, such as hot baths or reading. Avoid addictive substances or habits as coping mechanisms.
Make a Fresh Start
It’s tempting to nurse your wounds alone, but that can lead you down the path to depression. You can join new groups to form friendships if your social network fell apart with your divorce. Choose groups based on hobbies or volunteer opportunities, and your spirits will be lifted.
Monitor Your Finances
It’s important to take inventory of your altered financial picture. Create a new budget with spreadsheets for income and expenses, along with liabilities and assets. You will probably need to close old accounts and open new ones. Pace yourself and seek financial advice if you need it.
Have Hope for the Future
New dreams, wishes, and hopes are ahead. As you look to the future, you can embrace and celebrate what’s waiting for you.
We can help you get the process started. Call today for your free consultation with a compassionate attorney.